the death of heroism

i think most men want to be known for being something great. even godly men desire to be known for their godliness. this includes the martyrs in distant lands and the great preachers in our own land. it is difficult to boast only in the cross of Christ. it may be easy to say all the right things and do all the right things that would make others believe that you are boasting only in the cross of Christ but to really pull it off requires much more than impressing those around you. there is a humility that exists that i'm not sure how to attain. i want it, but even my desire for it is tainted with vainglory. this leaves us in quite a predicament, a predicament that leaves us on our face before God crying out for His favor, the favor that is given of His own accord and not my own merit. perhaps that is the best place to be.

the reason i share these thoughts is because i've been having them recently in light of marriage. it seems that many of my "heroic" ideas of being someone who impresses others with his contribution to the Kingdom of God has been replaced with a desire to love my wife in a quiet, humble way. of course there is a bit of a death of dreams of sorts in this exchange but it may lead to even more majestic aspirations. (by death of dreams i mean what paul is talking about in 1 cor. 7 when he says your interests will be divided.) what kind of heroes does the world need today? is it not men who will give their lives for their families? who will spend their time and energy loving the wife of their youth? raising their children in the fear of the Lord? isn't this what the world longs for? isn't this the stability that true men can minister to a hurting world from?

"humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you..." (1 peter 5:6)

i pray that God gives me grace to be the humble man who aspires to nothing more than a boasting in the cross of His Son, wherever that takes maris and i.